Big chunks of my life were spent in alternative scenes
Where we questioned ourselves and vented our spleens
We tried to look forward, while nodding to the past
Digging out those hidden histories, nailing our colours to the mast.
Got rid of the meat and the cheese
But I’d always hold within me a kind of unease
Worried that, maybe, what turned me on was a kind of sleaze.
Now I’m pro-feminist and i’m pro-queer
Believe in forging relationships through mutual respect, not fear
(Well that’s the idea)
Aware of heteronormative conventions and patriarchal structures
Think I do my best, when I can, to rupture
Those preconceived ideals that hang on with terrier tenacity
That will put women down, and what seems an unquenchable rapacity
For a pornography that degrades and saddens.
And for many, and rightly so, it maddens.
But I find myself in a place where I can’t pretend
That I’m not a normal boring heterosexual
Who loves fucking his girlfriend.
Look at the size of me, and the way I dress;
And this is a point I really want to stress
I’m a white heterosexual man
Not really deviating from society’s plan
I’m taking no chances, at least not like some I know
Not going against the flow
Never really had to change my ways
Sure I dropped the meat and dairy,
But I’ve never been beaten, called a fairy
I’ve been thumped by a copper, marched on rain soaked streets
But I’ll never have to fight like some I know.
I don’t want to be a man, at least not in any traditional sense
But let’s not labour under any pretense
I’m six foot tall, with cropped hair and boots.
I get judged accordingly by people who I wish would leave me be.
So sick of hearing
“Do you play rugby?”
“You’re a big lad”
“Who’s your team?”
“What’s your poison? “
“LOOK AT THE TITS ON THAT!”
I can’t join in.
So I stay in no man’s land.