No Man's Land (first draft)

Big chunks of my life were spent in alternative scenes

Where we questioned ourselves and vented our spleens

We tried to look forward, while nodding to the past

Digging out those hidden histories, nailing our colours to the mast.

Got rid of the meat and the cheese

But I’d always hold within me a kind of unease

Worried that, maybe, what turned me on was a kind of sleaze.

Now I’m pro-feminist and i’m pro-queer

Believe in forging relationships through mutual respect, not fear

(Well that’s the idea)

Aware of heteronormative conventions and patriarchal structures

Think I do my best, when I can, to rupture

Those preconceived ideals that hang on with terrier tenacity

That will put women down, and what seems an unquenchable rapacity

For a pornography that degrades and saddens.

And for many, and rightly so, it maddens.

But I find myself in a place where I can’t pretend

That I’m not a normal boring heterosexual

Who loves fucking his girlfriend.

Look at the size of me, and the way I dress;

And this is a point I really want to stress

I’m a white heterosexual man

Not really deviating from society’s plan

I’m taking no chances, at least not like some I know

Not going against the flow

Never really had to change my ways

Sure I dropped the meat and dairy, 

But I’ve never been beaten, called a fairy

I’ve been thumped by a copper, marched on rain soaked streets

But I’ll never have to fight like some I know.

I don’t want to be a man, at least not in any traditional sense

But let’s not labour under any pretense

I’m six foot tall, with cropped hair and boots.

I get judged accordingly by people who I wish would leave me be.

So sick of hearing

“Do you play rugby?”
“You’re a big lad”
“Who’s your team?”
“What’s your poison? “

I can’t join in.

So I stay in no man’s land.